FBI Special Agent George Piro interview of Iraq President Saddam Hussein was like many prisoners who had little incentive to cooperate. Over time, Piro developed rapport with the former dictator and war criminal. The FBI agent exploited Hussein’s exalted status and self-importance and developed a bond. Using this technique, Piro was able to slowly peel the layers of contempt and obtain his cooperation.
George Piro portrayed himself in a higher position of authority. One of the many techniques of strengthening the relationship was Hussein’s birthday. A former day of national celebration in Iraq was now another day on the calendar. There were no parades and no birthday party. Piro brought some Lebanese cookies baked by his mother to Hussein’s jail cell. This gesture demonstrated the level of rapport developed and cemented the trust between the two adversaries.
Dr. Steven Reiss, Emeritus Professor of Psychology of Ohio State University, proposed that there are sixteen basic human desires. Think of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs on steroids. The desires were determined after a study of six thousand people. These desires represent intrinsic motivational values for people in business and social settings.
The desires are:
Acceptance, curiosity, eating, family, honor, idealism, independence, individuality, order, physical activity, power, romance, saving, social contact, status, tranquility and vengeance.
If you can incorporate some aspect of as many of these desires as possible with the subject of your interview, you will strike accord with their intrinsic motivations. If you look closely at the list, you can probably identify your inner desires on the list.
Dr. Reiss, in his groundbreaking research, identified acceptance as one of our sixteen basic motivational desires. We all desire to be accepted by others. If you establish rapport and make a connection with the subject of your interview, you have laid the foundation for success.
For more tips on increasing and developing rapport, take a look at FACE 2 FACE : http://www.amazon.com/Face-2-ebook/dp/B009991BII/ref=sr_1_6?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1354630000&sr=1-6
Exactly, it´s all about lack of self-awarence/others-awarence!! e.g. : prizes at school/companies for every possible thing; celebrity lifestyle and so on…
Observation: my co-worker /colleague (25 years old) who shares working resources whith me (table/computer…) wrote her name in big capital letters (pen/writing pressure was evident, pacifying probably while on the phone) in rectangles around five or six times in our paper desk base… not even my 16 years old sister do this.
Pedro,You don’t need to read my book Face 2 Face. You get it. You are a student of life through observation. Cheers, Mike
Mike I feel honored whith your words!!! I do need to read your book, I´m 100% sure that I´ll learn a lot, I can tell it only by reading the Index.
Regarding what I know I owe it to JN for this life-changing knowledge, to whom I´m forever grateful. Cheers, thank you once again Mike.
Pedro, There are many “so-called experts.” Few hold a candle to Joe Navarro, who is a well earned expert and enjoys sharing his knowledge. We are colleagues, but I will alway stand in admiration of Joe.
Absolutely Mike!
We are two admirators/supporters of Joe. And you gain a new one
Hello Mike,
According to your experience which are the most common drivers/desires that people follow, among the ones you already described ?
Thank you in advance!:)
Pedro, Thanks for stopping by the website and for your comment. I would say that acceptance has the highest motivation factor. We all want to be a member of the tribe. This has a historical relationship in our DNA. We need the tribe for survival. Outliers had difficulty surviving. I would also add honor (pride) and vengeance right behind as motivating desires. Many relationships and murders are the resullt of honor/pride and the need to settle the score. In this narcissistic culture, power has become a much stronger desire. These last ones I mentioned are not always positive desires. Love also relates to acceptance, but we are all looking for that someone special to share life. I hope this helps.
Mike thank you very much for your answer! Indeed it help me understanding better this concept.
Regarding the narcissistic culture, and the desires you mentioned last (power & pride), it´s very true and I´ve notice that specially in the age range between 20-35 it´s really almost mandatory to follow those, unfourtunately.
Thank you once again!
Pedro, I’m glad I was able to provide some clarity. The narcissist culture is the result of a number of variables. Dr. Jeanne Twenge has written two books on the subject. Part of it is as the students graduate, they have unreal expectations and a sense of entitlement. Some never get the reality check.
Absolutely Mike, thank you!
I´ll check your reference regarding Dr. Jeanne Twenge.
Concerning narcissist culture/students I read that today they have less emotional maturity compared to their family/ancestors perhaps because they are “bombed” with information/concepts more intensively.
Another aspect is that many lack adversity in their life which builds character. When everyone is a winner, no one expects anything less.